Consulting Journal: Writing - Unneeded prepositions

Writing: Unneeded prepositions

by David Blakey

You can start to edit your reports by checking for unneeded prepositions.

[Monday 13 October 2003]

Some verbs are often followed by a preposition. One example is the verb walk. Although I may just walk, it is more usual that I should walk along a road or a river-bank, that I should walk in the city or in the countryside, or that I should walk through a forest or a shopping mall. The verb walk is intransitive: it does not have an object. The verb start is transitive when it means begin: it has an object. So, I can start a project, start a meal, or start a new consulting practice.

It is natural if the verb walk is followed by a preposition. It can be clumsy if the verb start is.

Writing We have started off the project is not an improvement over We have started the project. Unfortunately, start can properly be followed by prepositions, as in We have started in the middle. Some writers and speakers therefore assume that it should always be followed by a preposition. To them, the sentence We have started the project seems barren and incomplete.

Once someone accepts that the correct form of a verb is actually verb+preposition, they may construct sentences that contain the verb+preposition followed by a preposition+noun or a preposition+pronoun. They may write We have started off on the project.

Some of their sentences may seem to contradict themselves. They may start off on a project or start out in the middle or start up down a route.

The first draft of anything that any of us writes may contain many of these unnecessary prepositions. A consultant writing a report should use the same techniques as a novelist or journalist or columnist. Professional writers edit their work carefully. Imagine a columnist who is constrained to writing an article of 900 words. They may need to use many words in getting their point across convincingly to their readers, and they will be unable to have unnecessary words in their article. They will examine each word in their early drafts and decide if they can delete it. Their work will be more concise and crisper.

Apply the same techniques to your own writing. Once you have a draft that includes all the points that you wish to make, check every word to ensure that you need it. Prepositions are easy targets. You may be able to remove them entirely. You may be able to replace a verb+preposition with another verb. You may be able to remove a preposition+pronoun.

Compare this early draft with the second one and see if the story moves faster in the revised version.

The North Wind and the Sun were arguing with each other about which of them was the stronger, when a traveller came along, wrapped up in a warm cloak. They agreed that whichever of them could make the traveller take off his cloak would be the stronger of the two. The North Wind blew at the traveller, but the traveller wrapped his cloak more tightly around himself. Then the Sun shone down on the traveller, who took off the cloak. So the North Wind agreed that the Sun was the stronger of the two.

I have checked each preposition in my first revision.

The North Wind and the Sun were disputing which was the stronger, when a traveller approached, wrapped in a warm cloak. They agreed that whichever of them could make the traveller remove his cloak would be the stronger. The North Wind blew, but the traveller wrapped his cloak more tightly. Then the Sun shone on the traveller, who discarded the cloak. So the North Wind agreed that the Sun was the stronger.

It is worthwhile continuing this revision a little further, by searching for unneeded conjunctions and articles and verb formations.

The North Wind and Sun were disputing which was stronger, when a traveller approached, wrapped in a warm cloak. They agreed that whoever made the traveller remove his cloak would win. The North Wind blew, but the traveller wrapped his cloak tighter. Then the Sun shone, and the traveller discarded the cloak. So the North Wind agreed the Sun was stronger.

The two revisions reduced the paragraph from 94 words to 72 words and finally to 61 words, for a crisper, tighter result.

If you need to revise your writing but you cannot find a way to start, then begin with the prepositions.

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