Consulting Journal: Writing - Making points with bullets

Writing: Making points with bullets

by David Blakey

Bullets can help you make points clearly, if they're used properly.

[Monday 10 September 2001]

I have never understood why some of the major consulting firms are incapable of mastering the simplest concepts within the English language.

Look at the following sentence.

We shall do the planning first, the development second, and the installation third.

This is a standard English sentence. It can be made more complex.

We shall do the planning first, according to section 2 of our proposal, the development second, according to sections 3 and 4, and the installation third, as in section 5.

As this is beginning to get a little confusing, with some many commas, we may choose to break the sentence into three clauses.

We shall do: the planning first, according to section 2 of our proposal; the development second, according to sections 3 and 4; and the installation third, as in section 5.

Now, for clarity, we can make each clause a bullet point.

We shall do:
the planning first, according to section 2 of our proposal;
the development second, according to sections 3 and 4; and
the installation third, as in section 5.

We should always be able to remove the bullets and collapse it back to a standard English sentence.

We can replace it by a numbered list. Numbered lists should always contain complete sentences. The introductory ‘We shall do:’ should be replaced by a complete sentence.

We shall do the following.
We shall do the planning first.
This will be according to section 2 of our proposal.
We shall do the development second.
This will be according to sections 3 and 4.
We shall do the installation third.
This will be as in section 5.

Now here are the things that we cannot do in English - although some consulting firms do.

We shall do:
the planning first.
This will be according to section 2 of our proposal.
the development second.
This will be according to sections 3 and 4.
the installation third.
This will be as in section 5.

This is nonsense. It certainly cannot have the bullets removed and be collapsed back to an English sentence. It is not as bad as the next example.

We shall do:
the planning first. This will be according to section 2 of our proposal;
the development second. This will be according to sections 3 and 4; and
the installation third. This will be as in section 5.

This strange construction is used by consulting firms whose style books lay down the rule that bullet points must end with a semi-colon. Indeed they should, but they should contain other sentences. Bullet points cannot contain full-stops. Numbered lists can, because they always consist of full sentences.

Numbered lists cannot include headings as if they were text.

We shall do the following.
The planning first
This will be according to section 2 of our proposal.
The development second
This will be according to sections 3 and 4.
The installation third
This will be as in section 5.

If you want to include headings, they should not form part of the continuous text. The text under the headings must be in proper sentences.

We shall do the following.
Planning
We shall do the planning first, according to section 2 of our proposal.
Development
We shall do the development second, according to sections 3 and 4.
Installation
We shall do the installation third, as in section 5.

One of the easiest checks that you can do is to read out loud, preferably to someone else. They will quickly tell you if they cannot understand some of the examples above. If anything you write does not make sense when it is read out loud, then you need to change it.

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