Consulting Journal: Writing - Personal or impersonal?

This article is reprinted from The Consulting Journal
http://www.consultingjournal.com

Writing: Personal or impersonal?

by David Blakey

Some reports benefit from being impersonal; others from being personal.

[Monday 18 November 2002]

Here are two examples of an executive summary from a report for a client.

XYZ should:

develop a strategy for managing its existing customers;
develop procedures to implement its strategy; and
implement its procedures as soon as possible.

You should:

develop a strategy for managing your existing customers;
develop procedures to implement your strategy; and
implement your procedures as soon as possible.

Which of these should you use? Do you use the impersonal style - with ‘it’ as the client - or the personal style - with ‘you’ as the client?

There are some questions you should consider.

Who?

The question is: who commissioned the report?

If the report was commissioned by the CEO and is intended mainly for the CEO, then you can use the personal form. ‘You’ is appropriate, because CEOs can usually take action themselves or order their subordinates to take action or recommend to the board that it take action. Imagine saying the second example to a CEO. It does sound better than the impersonal version.

If the report was commissioned by the IT manager and contains recommendations that are within that manager's power to implement, then you can use the personal form. Just as the entire company is controlled by the CEO, so the IT department is controlled by the IT manager. But, if the recommendations go beyond the IT department into other areas of the business, then the impersonal form is better. Imagine that you are the contracts manager or the human resources manager and that the IT manager sends you a report that he has commissioned that contains recommendations for your department that are addressed to ‘you’. The ‘you’ could be the IT manager. What is he doing in your territory? The impersonal form works better because the recommendations for your the company rather than for an named - or assumed - person.

How many?

The question is: how many people commissioned the report?

If a report was commissioned by a group of people - the board or a committee - then you can use the personal form to stress the need for action.

I have reviewed XYZ's valuations for its current network assets. It should complete maintenance on a number of its assets to restore their valuation. It should replace a number of its other assets.

I have reviewed your valuations for your current network assets. You should complete maintenance on a number of your assets to restore their valuation. You should replace a number of your other assets.

If your report states that all is well, with no cause for worry, then the impersonal form usually works better.

I have reviewed XYZ's valuations for its current network assets and find that they are reasonable and a fair reflection of the state of its network.

I have reviewed your valuations for your current network assets and find that they are reasonable and a fair reflection of the state of your network.

This seems to defy intuition. Wouldn't people like to be praised for getting things right and for the organization to be blamed for getting them wrong? Apparently not. It is one of the characteristics of leadership.

Why?

If your client commissioned the report so that they could start making some improvements to their business, then consider using the personal style. If the report is only meant to report the current status, then consider the impersonal style. This can create two other problems.

If your report is intended to trigger action, then it can be said to be ‘active’. The personal style is an active style: it is harder to write passive verbs in sentences that begin with ‘you’. The impersonal style is often passive, especially if it is used to report the current status without any proposals for future action: it is easy to slip into the error of phrasing sentences passively.
The pronoun ‘you’ has an obvious subject: the person reading the report. The pronoun ‘it’ can refer to almost anything. If you use ‘it’ to refer to your client, you should make all the references unambiguous.

I have reviewed XYZ's valuations for its current network assets. It should complete maintenance, as it occurs, on a number of its assets. It is essential that it should replace a number of its other assets.

I have reviewed your valuations for your current network assets. You should complete maintenance, as it occurs, on a number of your assets. It is essential that you should replace a number of your other assets.

When?

If your report is about the current status and future action, then the personal form may be better. If, however, your report is about previous history, the impersonal form is better. First, the person that you address as ‘you’ may not have been with the client when previous decisions were taken and previous mistakes made. Second, even if they were, they will not enjoy being reminded of those previous mistakes.

I have reviewed XYZ's previous valuations. It did not complete maintenance on a number of its assets. It decided to defer replacement of a number of its other assets.

I have reviewed your previous valuations. You did not complete maintenance on a number of your assets. You decided to defer replacement of a number of your other assets.

Once you have decided on whether to use the personal or impersonal form, you should be consistent. You should certainly be consistent throughout the executive summary. If you can, you should extend this to the entire report.